I remember the day I took Booga into testing for Kindergarten. It was a huge step for me because I didn't think he would ever go to regular school and I was encouraged by a pre-school special needs teacher of his to get him into our local school district. I believe he was six or seven.
At that time however, our school district didn't have the means or the patience or in fact as I later found out, the knowledge or tolerance for a child with special needs like Booga.
The sad part about this was that I had maintained this really good relationship with the teachers at my children's school. I volunteered to teach a version of art there because there were no other art classes at the school.
A lot of the teachers I considered friends as well as my children's teachers.
I found out later I was stupid and naïve.
At this particular time in my life, things were in an uproar and they had no clue about what I was going through. They didn't venture to even talk to me about my home life. They knew about Booga, they knew I had a child with special needs, but none of them were "that kind of teacher."
Why should they care?
I later learned that as a rule in this place, teachers were pretty much kept under the thumb of the larger community of certain parents….Plus they, as a public school, didn't want to invest in that training. They flat out told me they didn't.
Anything that wasn't so-called "normal" for them set them on their heels.
Hence the reason the special needs teachers at Booga's pre-school wanted him to go to his own school district…They wanted to somehow force this particular school district into the 1990's and make them provide education for special needs students.
The elementary schools principle told me that Booga wasn't ready for school.
I told him he knew his ABC's and how to count to ten; he knew where his nose was and where his knees were. He needed help though because of his special needs and they fought with me….And I told the principle, "He is ready for Kindergarten."
It wasn't till after threats of litigation and murmurings of lawsuits that they reluctantly let him into school.
So we prepared to have him start school, in the exaggerated one room schoolhouse where my other two children would later graduate.
The kindergarten teacher (and I realize this wasn't her fault…She was probably told to do this from the superintendent at the time) told me that she was preparing a letter to parents of the other kindergarten students telling them that an autistic child was going to be joining them at school.
It was one of the first times in a long time, that I realized that he was different from other children and that people would see him as different.
This just broke my heart. I knew he was different but, I didn't want him to feel like he was different. I wanted him to be treated like his brother and sister- the way he was treated at home.
I began to cry.
I cried for the first time in a very long time after his diagnosis, I began to cry for my little Booga. I was broken hearted that he would have to endure people too shallow to understand how very special he was or look at him as nothing more than a broken child. His special needs pre-school teacher put her arm around me and said, "I thought you were done crying about this?" And I said, "I thought I was too. But apparently not."
I would never be done crying for him-or because of him.
My husband was furious when I told him. He said, "Would they be sending a letter out if an African American student was coming into the school?" (At the time there were none at this school). "Ask them that!"
Later on I would be told that I didn't need to show up at the school as a volunteer anymore. The principle said it was because I had said some explicative in front of students that I shouldn't have….
The only explicative I ever said in front of students was the words, "That just sucks."
Any other time I could remember using any other kind of explicative in that school was in front of a teacher alone or after school during a parent/teacher meeting or during a tour that involved parents; when I was being a parent and nothing but a parent. Never while I was in the class teaching. And it was always along the lines of "Sucks". It was nothing that these children hadn't heard on television or in their own homes in the presence of their parents.
I'm not stupid. This was done to hurt me and shut me up. It was also done to make me more of an outcast and make me look like a bad person and for the principle of the school to feel vindicated in the process. It was done for spite and vengeance. I know how the hierarchy works and it astonishes me that even after high school the jocks are still trying to make sure that they are top dog.
However, the children were allowed to watch "Armageddon," a movie with Bruce Willis, which had all sorts of cuss words in it, for a pre-Christmas break treat. This to me seemed odd, because I know there are far worse words than "sucks" in that movie and no, they did not use a cleaned up version.
Honestly, since I was going through one of the most horrific ordeals in my life, and since I had the loss of a friend and spent a lot of time setting up appointments for Booga and since he was dealing with his new world- I realized that I would probably have to quit anyway. I couldn't seem to find the time to do it like I did before. I was really happy doing it, however it had become a chore because my time was being so taken up with Booga and Booga related details and family and friends.
In fact, I believe, I was intending to quit the year before, however was asked to keep doing it by either some of the teachers or the school secretary.
This was a catalyst in my life. As soon as the monsoon that was my son settled into a pouring rain, I went back to school for Information Technologies.
Shortly after that, I ended up sending Booga to a better school in a bigger town about twenty minutes away, at the expense of our school district; mostly because they had a better special needs program but also because I no longer wanted any of my children to go to that school…Not with the mentality they were professing by their actions.
I still sent my older children to the public school in our district, because we were too poor to send them to private school. On top of that, they complained that they didn't want to move from their school. They had friends there already, and that was understandable.
However if there had been a Lutheran school in our area…You would have seen me hard pressed not to send them there.
Booga still goes to school twenty minutes away from us; still, our local public school has to cover the cost of his transportation to and from there and they have to provide it for him. He does better there; he always has done better there. I think today that I should've just been like the rest of the cattle and sent him to this school in the first place and avoided all the drama. But then again, I would not have gotten to see my first bit of prejudice first hand and known that it still existed in the ugly detail that it does exist.
I still have a lot of hurt from it. I might always have that I don't know.
But Booga's better off where he is, and I don't have to worry about people looking at him and wondering why he is the way he is…
.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.
Emo Philips - "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
0 comments:
Post a Comment